Ten-year-old Tetenya’s life takes a startling turn when he finds an orphaned baby rhino who he names Faru. Determined to save Faru from poachers, Tetenya embarks on a search through the African savannah for rangers and the rhinos they protect. But Tetenya’s fear for Faru’s safety grows as time passes with no rhinos in sight. Then a close encounter with the poachers means Tetenya must find an immediate way to protect the rhino he loves, or risk losing Faru forever.
TETENYA AND FARU is a picture book, for ages five and up. It is complete at 575 words.
I was inspired to write this story after a recent trip to South Africa, where I learned of an initiative to save rhinos from extinction. Some conservationists are looking into ways of dyeing the rhinos’ horns pink in hopes of making the horn worthless to poachers.
My young adult novel, Broken Worlds, was published in 2014 by CBAY Books. The second book in the trilogy, Broken Promises, is scheduled for release in the spring of 2017. HARRY'S LEAF, my children's picture book, placed seventh in the Writer's Digest 82nd Annual Writing Competition.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Anitha Rao-Robinson SCBWI and CANSCAIP member anitharobinson.com
I think you capture succinctly the important bits of the story. My concern is that your bio portion of the query is longer than the book pitch. I might drop the bit about the groups you belong to. Keep your publishing creds, but try to keep the focus on the book you're pitching.
This sounds like a moving and dramatic story about courage and determination. Really like the fact that Tetenya takes on an active leadership role to protect little Faru, and that your story is inspired by the real plight of the white rhinos. Would love to read the full piece. Hope your story brings attention to this important issue at a level that children can understand. Meaningful story concept!
I want to echo Rhi here--this story sounds really powerful. Sort of an epic story condensed into a picture book. I love how what appears to be the solution to the problem has such a vivid visual element, so even kids who can't read yet would be able to see at the end why it is Faru's horns are no longer valuable to poachers. Would love to read this book!
I'm not a PB query expert, but I read somewhere that a PB query is different in that it acts more like a synopsis. If that's true, then you can go ahead and say how Tetenya protects Faru - and if it's painting his horn pink, that's awesome! One other suggestion- I'm not sure if you need to give an age for your MC. I'd just say, A young boy, named Tetenya, is forever changed when he... or something like that.
Post by shanahsalter on Jan 31, 2017 11:26:43 GMT -5
Your story idea/description is wonderful. I wonder if you could remove the line about the description of the exact initiatives in place (ie horn dyeing). Also, perhaps you could further summarize your publishing credits so that the story description has more room to shine.
I agree with the others. This sounds like a lovely idea. I think you should say young boy instead of ten-year-old. The rest was good, I think your last line could use a little work. You talk about finding an immediate solution or he'll lose him forever. Those are pretty vague. I don't know the specifics of your story but try something like if Tetenya can't find a way to save Faru himself, the poachers may take away his new friend forever. Something like that. I'd read this story with my boys. Cute. Good luck!