I love this concept and the librarian, Miss Understood.
I’m not sure you need the line about the Whisper Oaks Public Library as dialogue. It might be more effective if it’s in the narrator’s voice (i.e. But he knew someplace that was. After all, libraries are always quiet.”) I think you could also cut “The library is too noisy," as that is clear from the next line.
Consider deleting “colorful” in front of “balloons” as that is probably best left to the illustrator to show.
I love the description of the animals and the verbs you use. I’m intrigued and would love to see how this ends
The paradox of the title is intriguing and the problem is clear in the first sentence. I like the name of the library too. Reminds me of Robert Munsch since the story is getting more and more chaotic. I like the onomatopoeias.
Suggestions: I would highlight that he is hearing "other's" pages turning. I would put the new noise at the end of the list. I would change the librarian's name from Miss Understood to Miss Understands since she is not misunderstood but misunderstands.
Post by sillylibrarian on Feb 4, 2017 12:01:23 GMT -5
I love me a good library-themed book! Ha, I think I am that librarian. The children's department is definitely NOT a quiet place! (Did you know that the collective noun for a group of librarians is "shush"? Truth. But not anywhere I've worked!)
Have you read THE NOT SO QUIET LIBRARY by Zachariah O'Hora? If not, be sure to do so, and see how your book compares. I'd also consider using a less gimmicky name for the librarian. Sounds fun, though, with lots of room for whimsical illustrations.
Post by storyologist on Feb 4, 2017 12:26:14 GMT -5
A "SHUSH"!? That's AWESOME!!! Thank you for the feedback. I'd like to visit YOUR library! I did NOT know about the NOT SO QUIET LIBRARY. Thank you for letting me know. See, I should have asked a librarian.