Everyone thinks pirates are cool—and when your parents are giving you jeweled lunch boxes and a family legacy, it’s hard not to agree. But what’s a kid to do when the swashbuckling life is not for him?
A decidedly less romantic view of pirates with a surprise ending, Pirate Parents, my 440-word picture book, is an ode to un-piratey thoughts. While this is a picture book, it holds crossover appeal for pirate lovers (we have a pirate festival here in Grand Haven, Michigan) and seafarers of any age. For educators, this book provides an alternative viewpoint from the many picture books that idealize pirates, and therefore is a good candidate for compare and contrast activities which are inherent to the Common Core literacy standards. Other themes that educators might find in Pirate Parents include geography (ship routes, mapping actual pirating routes), rhyme scheme, unique vocabulary and making good decisions true to yourself.
I think your second paragraph does a good job telling how awesome your book is and how it will be useful, but it's kind of long, and way longer than your actual description of the book. I suggest adding a few sentences to your book description to even it out, and maybe cutting the second paragraph a little too. Is there a main character you can mention by name? _______ friends think it's so cool his parents are pirates - and with all the jeweled lunch boxes and adventurous treasure hunts, it's hard not to agree. (I'd like to know more about specifics of family legacy as well, that's vague). But when ________ starts to think the swashbuckling life isn't for him, he doesn't know if he can face his friends and family to tell them how he feels.
I agree with Tara. The first sentence feels more like a blurb rather than a query. It needs more, especially about the boy who does not like swashbuckling. He needs an identity here. A lot of info in the second paragraph. It makes me want to read it and learn more but it can use some trimming for the agent's sake. Good luck with this!
I agree with the other comments though about perhaps introducing your main character a little. Also if the swash-buckling life is not for them then maybe they should not like the jeweled lunch box and the family legacy. Does he/she? crave the simple life?
Such a fun premise though - I would love to read the book.
MG HATCHER HOUSE Query: writeonconforums.org/thread/151/mg-hatcher-house First 250 Words: writeonconforums.org/thread/230/mg-gothic-hatcher-house First 5 Pages: writeonconforums.org/thread/287/mg-magical-realism-hatcher-house
PB O'CONNELL V. O'CONNELL Query: writeonconforums.org/thread/353/pb-oconnell First 250 Words: writeonconforums.org/thread/155/pb-oconnell
This sounds like such a fun book! Consider adding, in the first paragraph, why the main character thinks that a pirate's life is not for him or her. I think the agent or editor would want to know, and it will make your book sound even more appealing. Is the main character a gentle soul? Does he or she really want to be a dancer?