Really enjoyed this and the fun spin you took on the don't-want-to-go-to-school story. I love all of Little Robot's excuses and you've got some great lines in here. (Tummy tumbled!). One question: Is this the first day of school? Or is it the first day for Little Robot in a new school? It might be good to make that clearer somehow.
It is the first day of school which I tried to show with the brand new first day-of-school parts versus Little Robot's hand-me-down parts.Thank you for your suggestion and I'm glad that you enjoyed the story!
Last Edit: Feb 2, 2017 11:49:12 GMT -5 by amberhen
I love little robot and the idea of robot + first day of school. So fun! I think the jargon you use is clever and it looks fun to write. I'd say using it a bit more sparingly will really help it stand out in your story. I'd also suggest working in the reasoning behind his school anxiety a bit at the beginning. It's very clear that he doesn't want to go, but what's less clear is the why behind it. Working that into the beginning will give you the clear starting point of your character arc to then resolve at the end.
The writing is quippy and descriptive. I was immediately engaged. My suggestions are that you bring up it's the first day of school in the first page or two. Also, you should mention that the couplings are his cousins at the first mention of them instead of right before the problem. (Although I don't actually know what couplings are.) I like Ms. Gadget's name. I think it would be funny if she had new parts too. Poor Little Robot. What will happen to him next?